A Message from Earnie Larsen for September 9th

"Many shame-based people have learned the value or rule that says, 'I do not have a right to make anyone angry.' Many of us have a value whether we realize it or not that says I don't have a right to make anyone angry. Yet when someone is abusing you...verbally, stealing your parking place at work, calling you "honey" and patting you on the behind, children taking advantage of you and demanding that you give them rides all over the country...if you act out that value that says I don't have a right to make anyone angry, then of course you never will. That rage cycle, the shame cycle is fully in place. But if you understand that value and say I do have a right to make people angry and that their freedom from anger cannot be at the expense of my integrity, then you can very clearly tell them to get their own ride, or this is my parking place and it is not okay if you park there. When you behave in that way, at the beginning, if your value of "I don't have a right to make people angry" is still firmly in place, you won't feel good about that. There may be a feeling of some joy about making some progress but there will be some problematic feelings. Sooner or later it will become comfortable."

More information can be found in Earnie's Audio Album Building Self-Esteem...learn how shame has affected you, how to change self-defeating behavior and how to build self-esteem or

Go to Earnie's On-Line Seminar called,
"Setting Healthy Boundaries." http://www.earnie.com/onlineseminars.asp